Authentic Experience, Couples, R&R

Separate Vacations without resentment

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You don’t have to sacrifice to see the world.  It’s not enough time, not enough money, or commitments at home.  More often I hear that they can’t get a pet sitter or kenneling is either too expense or too cumbersome.  But it does take planning and communication!  With so many options out there and less stigmas and pre-determined notions – there’s no excuse as to why you can’t see the world!
Other reasons may be different interests or hobbies that could take you traveling (craft beer tours for example), or perhaps one doesn’t like the heat – so a nice southern vacation in the winter is out of the question for the 2 of you to be happy together!  Increasingly popular are mini get-aways, due to time and money but also ease of comradery – a golf 4-day weekend for the guys or a spa & hike get-away for the gal pals.  A safe and experience packed trip is to take a couch tour where you can make new friends along the way!

Besides circumstance, there are also other reasons to take separate vacations:

  1. To experience something new that doesn’t interest your partner
  2. To have a reunion with old friends or family
  3. To learn something new (a cooking tour!)
  4. Your bucket list item but not theirs
  5. Or simply to have some alone time

Again though, communication is key – not just words but body language – be honest, specific about the plans, and discuss the financial costs.  Do you think the costs should be equal of you each take a separate vacation?  Also keep in mind that separate vacations should not take the place of shared vacations with each other – ensure you have money and time for both – keep that love alive!!!

Experts say there is significant hesitation among some couples to even bring up this subject.  But in a study in 2006 says that separate vacations can be growth experiences:

“​Marriage often leads to a larger understanding of the world, more people in our lives, and a more mature and realistic take on how relationships work. If we married our clone, there would be little room for growth. … When the relationship is intact, occasional separate vacations can add a terrific dimension to your marriage. But if trouble is already brewing between partners, a separate vacation may do more harm than good. Consider your true motivation for the vacation, the stability of your finances and relationship, ages of your children, and willingness to compromise. If this all checks out—enjoy and make some memories.”

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So for you, does distance make the heart grow fonder?  Or would you terribly miss the other person and not enjoy your vacation?

Ideas for married couple vacations

  • one hikes Machu Picchu & the other swims in the Galapagos and you both come together for a cruise along the Amazon
  • one golfs the greens in Ireland while the other does a royal tour in England – you fly over & back together
  • One goes on a river cruise with their friends from college in the spring and the other takes a coach tour to learn about a new country in the Autumn
  • One goes to see a concert with a group of friends over the weekend one month and the other goes to see a sporting event with another group of mid-week

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With so many options, let’s get to know each other to see what YOUR possibilities are!!

Erika

 

 

 

 

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